Our son Spencer was born through international gestational surrogacy (commercial) in Utah, USA. But I remember when we first started surrogacy, I found it overwhelming. As it’s not as common in Australia, I had never met a surrogate or anyone who had a baby through surrogacy. In the end, we found surrogacy to be an amazing and life changing experience.

If you’re thinking about surrogacy, at Wish for a Baby Australia, you’ll find out everything you need to know…from how to start an overseas surrogacy process to all the legal steps involved. You’ll also meet others going through the same journey as you. I’ll be at the IVFbabble booth, and you’re welcome to say hi if you have any questions about my surrogacy experience. Or you can message me anytime through my Instagram @straight.up.infertility. 

For us, it was our second fertility specialist in Australia who told us that surrogacy was our best option to have children. We had seen him for a second opinion, after several failed and cancelled IVF cycles and two miscarriages. He diagnosed me with having a thin endometrium lining and explained that surrogacy was our best chance of having a baby. And so our surrogacy journey began. 

Below are the key steps involved with international commercial surrogacy. And at Wish for a Baby Australia, there will be loads of specialists who can help you learn more about surrogacy. You’ll also have the opportunity to talk to experts from surrogacy agencies, legal firms, IVF clinics and more.  

Step 1 - Choosing an agency

There are plenty of surrogacy agencies you can talk to. We skyped with six agencies in the USA and all six were great. We ended up choosing a boutique agency, Rocky Mountain Surrogacy as we had an instant repour with the owner and we loved how hands-on she was. An agency matches you with a surrogate; recommends IVF clinics and lawyers; provides a cost estimate; and guides you through the entire process. 

Step 2 – The match 

The agency emailed us two profiles immediately. Surrogates go through a rigorous screening process, so you feel confident from the start. We skyped with one of the surrogates, Leigha, and we had an instant connection. This is so important. You must be able to trust this person 100%. 

Step 3 – The legal process 

We then met with a lawyer who specialised in fertility law. Having a lawyer is not essential but I strongly recommend it, especially if you’re doing international surrogacy. Our lawyer helped us with the contract; managing our funds through an escrow account; the pre-birth order; and citizenship for the USA. With the pre-birth order, in the USA, you can sign it before your baby is born to be legally recognised as the parents. 

Step 4 – Counselling  

Surrogacy is such an emotional experience and it’s a big commitment. Our mandatory counselling session proved invaluable as we talked through what to expect, our hopes, fears…. anything and everything that was on our minds.

Step 5 – The IVF clinic 

We transported our embryos from Australia, but we needed a clinic for the IVF transfer. Our surrogacy agency organised an introduction with the Utah Fertility Center and within a week, we met Dr Russell Foulk and started the process. 

Step 6 – The screening process  

Blood tests, blood tests, blood tests! It’s basically all the same screening tests you do for an IVF cycle, such as checking for infectious diseases. 

Step 7 – IVF transfers  

Only three months after we were matched, we did our first transfer. It sadly failed but for our second cycle, we did an Endometrial Receptivity Analysis (ERA) test, changed our transfer time (as Leigha was pre-receptive) and we fell pregnant. We heartbreakingly lost our baby around nine weeks due to a Sub-Chronic haematoma. But our next transfer was a success and nine months later, our rainbow baby was born.  

Step 8 – Pregnancy  

Once Leigha was pregnant, we skyped in for all the scans and appointments. We were in contact nearly every day. We built a strong and beautiful relationship. Everyone is different though so it’s best to openly discuss what kind of relationship you want before you start.   

Step 9 – The birth 

We had adjoining rooms at the hospital, and we were all in the delivery room for the birth. When Spencer was born, my husband cut the cord and then we had skin on skin contact. As you can imagine, there were floods of tears. 

Step 10 – Coming home 

Three weeks after Spencer was born, we flew home to Australia. With the help of our lawyer, we organised a USA passport and citizenship. Once home, we worked with our Australian lawyer to get Spencer’s Australian citizenship and passport. Everything went very smoothly. 

This is a snapshot of my personal surrogacy experience but please come visit me at Wish for a Baby Australia, or contact me on Instagram @straight.up.infertility, if you want to know more. I also share our full IVF and surrogacy story in my book This is Infertility.